What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do I feel like I want to suck a big dick after injecting meth?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Which city should one visit between Nice and Cannes? Why?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Make Nazis afraid again!

What are James Potter's flaws?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

TEXT:

I want to have anal sex, but my wife refuses. What do I do?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Which one is better to guys, boobs or butt?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do older men like to get anal sex?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How did it feel when experiencing gay sex for the first?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How are max different from medical and minimum security prisons?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Can you write a poem or short story based on the first image that shows up on Pinterest?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What are some of the best photos of your favorite Korean model?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.